Well it's been a pretty hectic last couple weeks. I wanted Jodi (who was growing frustrated with each passing minute with no date) and Avery (who is understandably terrified and going through this on a level that I can't even begin to understand) to get their thoughts out while I took it all in and processed it.
I've been meaning to post and then kept putting it off not thinking I had anything worthwhile to say. It's a lot of worrying. Nothing I can do but reassure Avery that she's in great hands and that she's a strong girl who will handle this like a champ. Still, it's on my mind pretty much all the time. I distract myself with work and anything I can, but the second I let my guard down it's on my mind - and it's crushing me.
The biggest part is I can't do anything. It's hard to describe, this feeling of being the father. I didn't get to carry her in my womb for 8 1/4 months. I don't know what it's like to have that connection that mothers have with their children. The list of things I am clueless about is extensive.
I can be there for her, emotionally and to hold her hand or give her a hug, and that's what I plan on doing as much as I possibly can. I can also donate blood, though for much of today it looked like that wasn't going to happen. I got a voice mail today from Canadian Blood Services saying that due to a scheduling problem they wouldn't be able to get me in to provide a donation.
I'll be completely honest. I was really upset. This was to be the one thing that I could actually do for Avery and I was really looking forward to doing it. Knowing that if something happened during surgery and they needed blood that mine would be the first drops they would go to, well, it was an indescribable feeling, and with one voice mail that rug was pulled out from under me. Not quite devastating, but pretty darn close. The message said I should call them back, so I did, but I got voice mail. A few minutes later I got a call back from a coordinator saying that her manager would be calling me back to explain.
Well, that was the end of that until about 7:00 tonight. While doing the dishes I got a call from Canadian Blood Services. The manager informed me that they would be able to fit my donation into the schedule. January 8th with details to follow. What makes me feel really good about this is that the gentleman who called said that the problem with scheduling came to his attention at 1:00 and he's been working on re-jigging the schedules because, "We really wanted to make sure you were able to make this donation for your daughter." Faith in the system restored.
So, it seems like getting to a surgery date is the biggest hurdle because once you have a date boy howdy do things ever move like clockwork. Surgical consult within 3 weeks of getting the date. Blood donation two days after that. Pre-op booked for a week before the surgery and several weeks in advance... It's very encouraging, if not a bit overwhelming.
So there you have it. A ridiculously busy January on the horizon.