Thursday, June 18, 2015
I was thinking last night.......
I want to be a kid again. Shrink me down to six and leave me there. Take me out of this age where I'm responsible for lots of things. Where I'm not little anymore. No longer a child, a kid, where I start preparing for the real world. Where everything I do matters a lot more than it used to. I hate it. I can't stand it. At first I was so excited. It was all I wanted. Now all I want is for it to be over. I wish I could have skipped it. Just gone from child to adult, so I don't have to go through this. Shrink me down to six, before I'm an actual person. At six your not quite a person yet. You don't have a personality, at least not the one you'll have for the rest if your life. At six even the most outgoing of your class is still a bit shy. At six fart is a word that makes you gasp because someone said a 'bad word'. At six everything mattered in its
own way, even if now the things that mattered then seem stupid. At six daddy could pick me up. At six I could sit on mommy's lap. At six cars seemed like a fantastic thing (aside from me getting sick in them). At six life seemed perfect. At six you can have a temper tantrum, go to your saying you hate your parents, only to come out minutes latter crying and saying sorry and that you loved them. At six you got books read to you at night. At six you slept with a night light. At six You knew, with all your heart, no Mater
what was said and done, that your parents loved you then and will love you forever. Now at times you feel like no one gets you. You want to believe that your parents will always love you but are afraid you will do something wrong. Now everything is scary. I'm afraid I'll fail school. I'm afraid I'll get fat. I'm afraid I'm too skinny. I'm afraid I'll get hill by a car. I'm afraid ill get kidnapped. I'm afraid that in high school ill smoke or take drugs. I'm REALLY scared about that last one. I don't want to be a teenager. I don't want to go to high school. I just want to be a kid again. To not be afraid to go into my parents room if I have a nightmare. To be able to walk around not worrying about what's around the corner. Or about what's ahead of me on life. To he able to snuggle up in my parents arms again. Please let me be a kid again. Please.